Thursday, March 17, 2005

IPOD SHUFFLE

Did I forget to mention I bought an iPod shuffle (in singapore) ? Love the little bugger. Does its job well. You know what someone ripped it off > link here.

Ah well, everyone wanna rip off Apple. Proves those guys really have great product design. Steve Jobs is d greatest.

I plan to get my Mac Mini in may. When OS X.4 is released. Haha, worth waiting coz i'd get the older OS buying it now.

Why use PCs? What is wrong with all of you? GET A MAC! or at least have 1 of each! 1 for work, 1 for FUN!

APPLE FOREVER.
Greetings bloggers and viewers.... Mesa back.

REVENGE OF THE SITH

The hype is boiling. This looks to be the most kick-ass star wars yet. Unfortunately some joker has been sending out a ms doc with a lot of pics and spoilers. To quote what my friend Kumar told me, "you have already waited for 3 years what is 2 more months?". I wanna keep away from such things now or else the movies impact would get watered down.


EXAMS ????

Had 2 weeks of non-working (not 100 percent still had to do some work) bliss in Singapore last month to take a course for one of apps I am supporting. Tension when came back. Exam... glad I passed phew...... so glad so glad so glad. Now I feel more "qualified" in my new job.

CNY

Actually celebrated CNY in Cyberjaya and KL for THE FIRST TIME. It was pretty neat. Never done that before (and in my house too).


THE GANG

Yes, you guys... life is more interesting or bitchy thanks to all of you. You know who you are... thanks for NOT celebrating me birthday muahahahah.


MEL AND BIRTHDAY DINNER

Thanks for a great bday dinner at Avanti's. That is a really nice place. Best dinner I ever had despite only averaging 3 hours of sleep for the past 3 days before the dinner.


WHY BLOG WHY BLOG

I dunno. I am getting horrible at this. Utterly horrible. Well, something better than nothing.


'till next entry. Ciao.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Time to start blogging again. Wow when was the last entry?? November????

Missed blogging about the Tsunami (I wuz in Penang when it happened) about this and that.

Job
Well 6 months going into my new job. it's been challenging, but this is THE job that I am enjoying. It's not really what I planned to do as a career but I am here, and here is where I'll be.

Cool company but tough targets. Well, I'll be hoping to get better at what I do and take my certifications asap. It's good teamwork as far as colleagues go, with only one guy making it a bit tough for me but hey - what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger....


Mel
Mel is doing great in her job ... will someone pls give her a raise / promotion. She's talented and hardworking and determined..... I guess we are trying to plan and look at how to improve our relationship as well. Relationships have ups and downs but like everything, if both parties have the same goals and head towards the same direction, things would work out great....

Parents and Cyberia
Parents have been supportive as always and have adapted well to the new hope except that we still have lotsa clearing to do with regards to the old place....

Other Stuff...
1) Well our little old futsal team now has a name and we are getting better and more united. Here's our team name (don't laugh) UNITED COLOURS FOOTBALL CLUB - UCFC.... Arrrhhh it's okay you can go ahead and laugh...

2) Some old pals got married - Chew Foo got married, here's to you pal...

3) Need to touch base with friends working in KLCC and Maxis.... Steven, Weng Kai

4) Finally - I can afford an Apple. Awaiting to get my Mac Mini and iPod shuffle haha

Well, life although has been much of the same-old same-old does have its twists here and there. Here I am, working hard in the city centre, trying to make a living... There has to be more than this. I guess I am looking to some furthur financial stability and decide to do more to this limited life. Have always wished everyday if I could somehow turn in back a little... my advice to everyone is CHERISH these moments together and make the most of it.

On a final note, this year -CHILLIN and HANGING OUT seems to have started with a bang, as us friends Lan/Kit/Johan/S.Ann/Alvin/KC/Mel and Myself have just spend maybe a bit TOO MUCH TIME drinking and getting wasted... and KIT - how could we forget the RM61 per person KARAOKE session...

'Nuff said for now...

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

6:30... not a very good nite's sleep. Mel's been working late again...

Not much of a blogger... Let's see what am I really thinking about... Well before that some updates... I bought the star wars trilogy DVD region 1, probably the first copy that landed in tower records... Am still amazed at the awesome clarity (good work Lowry Pictures for the restoration)... wow....

Sunday futsal has been a bit slack in attendance due to the puasa month... seeing our usual gang cut in half, missing the LB guys. And guys who have been missing Tim, Jon, Hafiz, Gary - GET BACK TO THE PITCH!

My team Spurs is sucking ass again. I knew it. Just hope we can pull through this season and miraculously win something. At least we beat Bolton 4-3 in the FA Cup...

Owen still inspires me ... a striker with only half his pace nowadays but class finishing... 4 in 4 for Real Madrid...

Mirinda tied the knot with Yuen Meng - a nice and simple wedding. Was truly great. More weddings should be like that!

Got my dad a new mobile (Nokia 3120) ... Nice buy...Not a bad phone for the price (RM590 - after digi voucher RM450 = RM140 cash).... He is sooo happy he got a new phone... of course I got mine 1 month plus ago, a SE K500i.

Anyways, my dad job has been challenging but also exciting, rewarding and am i already bored working in klcc twin towers????? ACD, CMS, PDS, CTI blah blah blah - we got a great solution....

Finally got my CD player fixed in my car after many complaints from friends like Kit and Kim but all I got was this EL-CHEAPO Taiwan model...

Well gonna get that 1.5 hour sleep now before getting ready to work...



Monday, November 01, 2004

Am in office now... day started slowly but... its gonna be a real busy day im sure. Every day has been like that...

Saturday, September 18, 2004

LONG LIVE CHICKEN RICE

So much for the long-awaited return to the blogging world. Yes it's now been almost like what? 3 months since my last entry.... It's 3:11 am now as I write this in my new home in cyberjaya.... yup, my free 1 year internet access provided by cyberia.... is so so slllooooooooowwwwwwww. Whaddya expect anyway?

Been a busy, busy 3 months. It's weird. Always been affluent to PCs but now all I think or have to think about is phone systems in my day job. It's pretty cool. Cool to know what lies behind that customer service desk... cool to know "hey that's my company's PBX in there ..." .... well cool for now.... anyway its been rather "interesting" getting to know so many people in my day job. Working in a small unit is great coz the politics are very much minimal... We live in a world of bitching, arse-kissing .... it makes me sick sometimes.... It's sad that your value of what you are is so often determined by what people say of you.... Living to someone else's standard.

On a happier note, today would be september 18 that means 3 more days to the official release of the star wars original trilogy special special edition DVD. I can hardly wait to get my hands on it... I bet someone has bootlegged it... and it could already be in Low Yat. Well, I'm just gonna wait patiently for this one. www.theforce.net for updated info.

Tonight marks the second nite I'm staying at my new place. It feels more comfortable now.

It also seems to be the time for company trips... In 2 weeks I will be flying to Cebu, Phillipines for a new fiscal year kick-off. Great. As I type this, Mel is on the road to Langkawi.

Let's see... let's talk about football. Great start to the EPL season. It's weird having an EPL without Michael Owen but we have seen some great first 5 matches played. Surprisingly my team, Spurs are still undefeated (although 3 matches were draws).... Looks like a much better team this year.

Before I log off... dunno why I keep thinking about chicken rice. There's something about chicken rice that I downright loathe yet there are times when it's like THE best food to fulfill your hunger pangs. White chicken, roast chicken, BBQ chicken, chicken leg, ngah choy, meatball soup and yummy margarine rice...... here's to chicken rice. LONG LIVE CHICKEN RICE.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

REMOVED! From blog links across the world due to my inactivity....

FORGOTTEN! Due to my usual anti-social self...

DISBANDED! My underground grunge band, disbanded temporarily/permanently because everyone is doing their own thing nowadays...

What will I do? What will I do? HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA

Hell with all of you. Welcome blogging world.  I'm back.  The old boring Joshua blog is back, hopefully as boring as ever.

 
KLCC WORKING LIFESTYLE

KLCC ... KLCC... How I love thee.... Yes, I am now where the "action" is. Centre of the city, Hub of activity.   Hmmm....   Everyday, I see people walking, walking, walking.  I see foreigners by the truckloads coming to visit the skybridge, that day I even directed a bunch of myanmar tourists to twin towers....  

Yes, truly I am an extreme person... From the quietness of Cyberjaya to one extreme - KLCC.  Gosh, I really love working in KL. 

 

Monday, July 12, 2004

Finally, my first blog entry in two over months... Well lots have happened... The main thing - I've got a new job! Woohoo... working back in KL, high above it all, 70th floor of KLCC... cool, cool, cool.

Well, lots of developments. Mel also moved into her new rented place in Duta/Segambut area. More renovation on my cyberjaya home... And agony of course... England crashing out in the quarterfinals of Euro.

Well, its a new beginning for the second half of the year... Gasp.. it's already July...... So much to do and so little time....

Monday, May 31, 2004

WONG YO PING - WATCH OUT!

I went over to try the much touted by management-5 million-clubhouse facilities at my cyberia condo last weekend. Bastards. Although Mel enjoyed the swim, I didnt, being too enraged by the site of desperate, pathetic beings(presumably from mmu) desecrating the clubhouse facilities. Upon questioning, the lame guards just said, they had authority to use full facilities by the customer service.

What bull. Everything I didnt wanna see I saw. Firstly bunch of guys from dunno which African country using the gym (definately from LUCT)... I'm sure those guys had no access but the "imported" guards where probably too chicken shit to do anything.

The pool, as predicted the desperate ahbengs were taking turns dumping their fully clothed and shoed pals into the pool... and laughing and laughing their head off.

Checked with management today and they said a resident booked it. But she had no access to the pool and gym. Well, I got a look at the booking form from the guard the other day, and MISS WONG YO PING of whatever of mmu... your friends are one pathetic and desperate group of ppl. You probably think you are so cool booking the clubhouse for them...

I am totally irked by the entire incident. I mean these blasted tenants have their own pool and barbeque pit. If I was a tenant, but nooooo they had to feel great using the new clubhouse.... Hey, if I were a tenant I would respect others privacy and rights. Of course these ppl dont think like that, all they think of is themselves. They would even sell out their close friends for 100 bucks, I bet.

We will see, the fun/hell of living with students has only just begun.... No worries my investment is protected, I can always be a landlord later if I hate living there.... but I'm not gonna chicken out... submitting a formal complaint letter to the TAN SRI of cyberia today... couse everywhere you go, no matter how expensive, gated community of whatever you have to put up with ppl spoiling facilities, poor building management, politics and crap. Thats why a RESIDENT COMMUNITY is so important.

NUFF SAID but not NUFF DONE.

Friday, May 28, 2004

Parents anniversary yesterday, mommie chose Madam Kwan... because she like everyone else likes the nasi bojari... Anyway, lotsa fixing done on my condo.... finally my dad got hold of the contractor (Simon)... glad to see they are doing the job....

Wanna say that my dad is the greatest dad... he is really a lovely man and the most humble I have ever met , although he likes to talk a lot....and my mom always loves me unconditionally....

A lot of things are moving in my life this month... a lot of things... but I wont be blogging it.... suffice to say it has been a very very interesting month... Kumar always the best pal and my personal counsellor hehe...

With that just wanted to add:
Mel baby, dont get too pressured with work, you are the best at what you do and I will always be there to support u...

since you gonna read my blog anyways...

NUFF SAID

Thursday, May 20, 2004

MEANT TO LIVE

I believe in God. I believe in peace. I believe we were meant to live for so much more. The whole idea is peace from within before peace on the outside....

Haven't felt like this in a while. Much has happened this past few days, running around meeting so many different people... so tired and drained!

Mel, baby you are so important to my life and I'm so glad for your energy.

All I wanted to say, there must be a reason we were made. Look at our body, how well designed it is, the birds, the animals this world. Unbelievable.

"We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves? " .... Switchfoot, 'Meant to Live'...

Monday, May 17, 2004

THE IMPORTANCE OF SPACE

Ever yone needs their space. They need time to recollect thoughts, increase their understanding and plan out what to do next... "Absense makes the heart grow fonder" is true when you are separated from your close ones, even for a short period of time.

You always have to find the right balance. Giving a person too much space could end up in you becoming seemingly uncaring/unbothered. Not giving space, choking a person would mean increased tension in a relationship, more fights....

But more importantly the space you need for yourself. When there is no one around only then you realise the importance of needing others and the feeling of loneliness... when there is no one around also then you can give a bit of your time to others who need it...

Anyway, it was a weekend where Mel was away, it felt great when she came back yesterday. It was a also great to spend time with some friends, like Kumar, Hoe, Kit, Chris, Lan, Sue-Ann.... Good to meet su-yin.blogspot.com in person... great car driving with Kit trying to lose someone's stalker....

There you go guys, less life report this time. Do you all really want all these boring thoughts and reflections??? HAHAHAHAHA... Don't think so rite? Even I'm falling asleep writing this blog....

Monday, May 10, 2004

LONG DAY OUT/MEL FOUND PLACE/FOOTBALL FEVER/LOST PDA/MOTHERS DAY

Ha ha ha ha.... Ironical, absolutely Fantastical, and Heart Warming... sounds like a movie... that would sum up the weekend. Sorry, Chern, but I am back to my blogging life report best thats what I am and what I will continue to do... While others bitch and rant about stuff on their blogs, I will be the usual BORING life report guy...

WELL? What happened.. Hmmm... where to start... Firstly Mel found a great place to rent ... Menara Duta 2 or something near Sri Hartamas... pretty good location, good facilities, great roomies and nice room + bathroom ... so happen i also had exactly enuff monies in my wallet to loan Mel first for the deposit... everything was working out, we managed to get the master bedroom.... after that it was seeming like a perfect day, everything was working out and then... finally i ate at Chillis. After that month+ long of health food obsession, and after deciding to cut down on expenses, Mel and I somehow found ourselves lunching at good ol Chillis. We didnt want to wait like everyone else (i mean 1/2 hour for a table at 2 pm ?? C'mon....) so we sat at the bar... nice lunch. You know what rocks about Chillis??? Free flow drinks, the ability to talk out loud.... yup... and a real humoungous fatty american BURGER...HAHAHAHAHA .... Well, sitting at the bar was kinda refershing change... although we didnt have a table, we got instant service... which I think is a good trade off.... anyways Alvin and Gabe dropped by while i was 76% done with my Burger.... so then I started my football talk which would last the whole day .... sorry guys... non-stop football critic... HAHAHAHAHAH

What proceeded was meeting up with Chern and then lets see where we went:
IKEA/IKANO (For Gabe, Alvin and Chern) -> KLCC -> Chillis -> Shopping mostly at Nautica Store -> Starbucks for drinks -> Kinokuniya (bought X-Men comic) -> Times Square -> Pizza Uno (Dinner) -> Bintang Walk (To Kill Time, waiting for 11pm to meet Lin Poh and friends) -> Lecka Lecko Gelato -> Bar Savant -> Nearby Malay Restaurant for drinks -> Coffee Shop (watch football) -> Home.

Phew... what a long long day. Yup between those locations.... it was footbal chat all day between myself, Gabe and Alvin... everyone wanted to have italian for dinner so everywhere was expensive so pizza uno was a pretty good choice... it was insane... we had to wait for linpoh and us guys were getting frustrated not able to chill down and just watch the bunch of live games that nite...

When we got to Bar Savant... man... there was NO SCREEN! And no screen at the adjoining clubs and restaurants.... WHAAAT THE HELL????? Anyways... I even went to Sheraton and couldnt find a damn sports bar/bar with a screen showing the EPL game. We sat down, had drinks at this malay restaurant and I asked Gabe to check out the chinese coffee shop at the end... Gabe came back triumphantly with 2 thumbs up! YESS!!! So us guys went over while the girls went to Bar Savant... Cool... got out football fix and great game Liverpool vs Birmingham...

Anyway, all that activity and dunno what I ate, affected my tummy so I headed over to Bar Savant after the game and passed my pda + keys to Mel... and went over to the nice super-clean Sheraton hotel toilet.... to cut the story short, my pda got stolen/lost .... anyway things like dat happen so its not mels fault, i blame the damn dishonesty of people nowadays...

MAKE SURE YOU DONT LEAVE THINGS LYING AROUND BAR SAVANT! DISHONEST WAITERS PROBABLY - PASS THE WORD...

Yup another place on the black list... And I happen to now agree with Alvin - don't go to places that dont have free flow water (like Pizza Uno)....

Hahahahha... really good places seem to have free flow water... Chillis, Fish n Co, hahahaha.

Anyway my black list isnt that long but Bar Savant is now in there, along with Zouk, along with Lorong Selamat Char Kuey Teow....
Sunday was the usual except it was a Happy Mothers Day and my mommie loves Fish n' Co and thats where we went....

Baby, dont feel bad about the PDA.... Am really touched you practically thrased and turned Bar Savant upside down searching for it, as well as interrogating the waiters and manageress.... Hehe...


'NUFF SAID!


Thursday, May 06, 2004

BLOODY DEFECTS

... Yup, since no one is bloody around in the office - I decided to check out my condo defects. Man. Suffice to say I wasn't too please. The first time, I guess I was too excited about getting my place and the second time, was carried away with my friend telling me what's nice about my place.

Well, this time, with a clear mind and a useful flourescent lamp to light the rooms for me to check it out.... I headed to my condo for my next inspection...Man, when I see the finishing I want to FINISH the developer's HEAD OFF. Anyway, I guess Paramoden was in a hurry to ensure they get MMU and LUCT tenants in time for the June intake! True, enough, so many units were occupied on my block!

Anyway, dunno which bloody chinaman contractor they got, they better make good with my unit. So far, am moderately happy with the customer service, very happy about the facilities, dissapointed with the poor and rushed finishing, happy with the features like the alarm system, ethernet ports and centralized astro.

BUT: Why the hell you have a rule book that says occupants cant hang clothes in the balcony when all the damn students do it anyway. Ah well, you have to understand, living in a student infested area. Why the hell do you build a water outlet for all aircons but dont have a hole for piping for the compressor? Why do malaysia contractors do a sub-par job only to keep coming back later to fix it and spend more resources? BODOH! Do a good job the first time!

I can smile a bit. At least I know Mel and I can really make the place look good after they fix up the mess. Boy, oh boy, tomorrow we really gonna be kicking up a fuss at customer service....

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

PENANG HOUSE


Just had lunch by myself. Had to do a few things: 1. pump petrol full tank RM 43.80... 2. withdraw money to pay bills.

So, drove to the nearest petrol station in Putrajaya. Despite Cyberjaya being so-called self supporting .... we don't have a bloody petrol station yet. Grrr.... Anyway pumped a full tank, was hoping the ATM was a RHB at Petronas... nope, no such luck.. Maybank instead... So, drove to the nearest RHB in Precinct-dunno-what. Managed to get a parking immediately in that busy area as some guy vacated his (thank you God for small things like that!!!). Anyways, had to make a decision where to fill my tummy. My choices were (at that building) Baker's St. Bakery, Mamak Nasi Kandar and guess what ... Penang House.... yes, Penang House, a branch of the money-making shop at Cyberjaya Street Mall.

A place where I remember ALWAYS having to wait like centuries for what I always order - Fried Rice ADD egg.... Hmm... went upstairs, opened the door, and there it was... Penang House, smart marketing and tactics and now bringing chinese food to the masses. Waiters and drinks were malay staff but the kitchen and owner all chinese. Man, they are making money. At first the crowd didnt seem to be that many so I decided to take the risk of waiting and order my usual FRIED RICE ADD EGG..... to my horror, there was this big order of like ta pau for the entire office by someone, and I ended up AGAIN waiting like 30 mins for my FRIED RICE ADD EGG... Same restaurant, same grumbling, same fried rice only in Putrajaya.... HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHA.....
LONG WEEKEND REPORT WITH PICTURES

Friday nite: Mel and I bumming around with Chern, Gabe (just came from Penang) and Elliot. Mamak and then San Fran.
Saturday & Sunday & Monday: Mel and I 3 days 2 nights in Penang with Jimmy, Joyce and Hoe. Stayed at Leisure Bay, last-minute managed to get an apartment thanks to Mel's Dad... every hotel was booked. Took us like 7 hours just to get to Penang on Saturday. Gasp. Highway driving mostly by Jimmy and Hoe. In Penang, was me.... The usual things were done.... meals at Lorong Selamat and Swatow ..... night shopping at Bt. Feringgi... Shopping at Gurney and DVD hunting.... Other than that... Fun at the beach.... Dinner at Tambun (delicious... seafood for 5 at RM90 only can u believe it... crabs, prawns etc) ... the drive back to KL wasnt so bad... pretty smooth, arrived at midnight.

Anyways, still managed to watch footie with Hoe on Sunday nite at Tari Cafe (located just at the entrance of Leisure Bay).

Yesterday was quite fruitful... Yes, placed an order for my walk-in wardrobe at Sliderdrobe in PJ. Happy happy (except my wallet). Nothing really extravagant, but at least something close to what Mel and I designed... At my budget, this was a great buy.

Pictures description: Bangsar pics (Chern and Gabe), Penang Trip (3 pics only - Jimmy and Joyce, Hoe, Jimmy and Joyce again), Cyberia condo (views from balcony pool,clubhouse and poolside, balcony, master bedroom )






Friday, April 30, 2004

FINALLY A LONG WEEKEND

Yup a four-day weekend. Rejoice. Time to unwind, kick back and relax. Hope it turns out that way! Tomorrow we will get on the road to Penang, Hoe, Jimmy, Joyce, Mel and I. May it be a fun trip.... Amazingly we managed to get accomodation at the last minute... thanks to mel's dad. An apartment in Bt. Feringgi. Cool. Work is slow, with the anticipation of upcoming projects. Here is the cycle of working: complain no work ---- rejoice got work ----- complain too much work ----- complain not enough pay ---- complain not enough work ---- complain no work ..... and on and on.

On the new house developments, we got a rough quotation from Ikea on the kitchen reno, dad uncovered a whole long list of defects, now getting a quote for wardrobe. I will be broke when I shift in, for sure!

Had lunch in Putrajaya Food Court, Rain Nudle Green Curry Rice RM6 compared to the RM15 you pay if you ate in KLCC.....

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

BUY CHOC WAFER

Another day of colleague bonding in AUNTYLAND. Yes, my male-colleagues have dubbed our company auntie land..... That's the female attraction factor.... all aunty... Har har... A statement made a true hard fact when we had lunch at LUCT. Anyway why BUY CHOC WAFER? Coz in my seeming abandon of my health diet, I have been snacking on Lendy's choc wafers. Yes.... in 5 mins I gobbled half a packet of his choc wafers.

I also had a COKE, oily briyani rice.... wow.... what has happened. I assured Lendy, "my health eating habits will be BACK".... but not until I have had a feast of fat-filled food at chillis... yum... feel the urge for a big fatty juicy Chilli's burger rite now.

I guess it's kinda hard to continue my health diet coz its difficult not having the kitchen I want and the lifestyle I want. I will be BACK. The healty living will be back after I move in to Cyberjaya.

Off to Penang this week... taking a break with Hoe, Jimmy, Mel... That should be good.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

BEING POSITIVE IS BEST AND HEALTHY

Previous blog was quite miserable. Hmmm... that's typical of feeling bad at a particular moment in time. Facing up to your dissapointments and regrets is always good.

Anyway, had a full weekend. Saturday was another weekend with Hoe, Jimmy and Mel. Night clubbing at crummy jeng-zouk coz had to meet Willy (mel's penang buddy). Sunday... futsal this time our guys all turned up. Sunday night, was interesting.... dinner at i-chiban and drinks at bangsar with friends from Penang and mel's friend from canada, Mary Gentleman (yes that's her real name). Good to catch up.

Of course, yesterday was a highlight. Getting my condo keys. Yes! At last!!! Woo-hoo!!! Now I got bigger headache as to where to get money for some reno.

Just after lunch. Raining in cyberjaya. To any of you, facing some downtimes, remember the saying of the crow, "It can't rain all the time....".

'Nuff said.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

WHOLE WORLD CRUSHING ON YOU

I'm not a happy-happy person. That's not me. That's not Josh. In my miserable state of being, I honestly seek refuge in simple things to make me happy. Am I too complicated? Do I want too much out of life? Maybe. I do know that nothing works easy for me or I have never walked out an absolute WINNER in anything. NEVER EVER. Never ever got the BIG breaks I needed.... When I get one good thing happening, the next one is far, far away... applies to everything... job, business, whatever.

I want to be able to smile, able to laugh... but I know when I do .... somehow the world around me HATES IT. The world complains about me being miserable but when I try to change to a shiny happy person, everyone like gets miserable around me. Weird.

Sometimes I feel like the killer in the movie Se7en. "In this world you have to really hit someone on the head to make that person listen to you" or something like that.

Anyway, kudos to my family and mel for putting up with me. I know I cant stand me. I am utterly convince.. iamnotahappyperson.